#sam i demand you write a thing about rdj advising them on dressing as your character
"Robert, where are you taking m — Robert, why is Sebastian here?"
"I’m here because he said there’d be pancakes."
"Robert, why have you apparently kidnapped me and Sebastian? Are we making a indy film and I just forgot about it?"
"No. My children, it’s time for you to learn one of the pleasures of being an A-list Genre Film star."
"….Chris, did he bring us here for a threesome?"
"I have brought you here to advise you on your red carpet outfits, because you have reached a point in your lives where you can afford to be goobers and people will just think it’s cute instead of unprofessional. So today we are going to dress you for the red carpet."
"I’m sensing there’s a catch."
"Very good, young Stan. You are going to dress for red carpet as your characters."
"Blue suit for you, Chris, dorky seventies All The King’s Men tie, patriotic pocket square."
"Oh god he’s going to dress me in silver — "
"Hst, Sebastian, you get an all black suit."
"Not very individual."
"That’s why you get to spend today practicing your smug yes, I am dressed as the Winter Soldier, don’t you wish you were as cool as me smile.”
"Chris? Is this normal?"
"You get used to it after a while. I’ve found it’s best to just do what he says."
[RDJ Advises Chris Evans on his Life Choices]